A Complex Family Reunion

Part Three

A Day of Disintegration

Later that Saturday, the disquieting weight of my mother’s absence solidified into a more grim and tangible reality. My mother’s partner had made it abundantly clear earlier: neither of them had space for me in their lives. A decade of yearning collapsed in that instant, a skyline of dreams imploded, leaving me in the debris of unspoken words and lost possibilities.

By afternoon, I secluded myself in my room. Emotion had stalled somewhere between the contours of sadness and the blank slate of apathy. I wasn’t anticipating tears or fits of rage; I was hovering in a state of emotional limbo. The following evening, I was to return to Hobart with my Aunt Betty. Within the span of 48 hours, the structure of my world had crumbled, though into what shape or form I could not fathom.

As the evening drew near, Aunt Betty, keeper of the family’s unsaid truths, informed me that we were going to the movies — with my mother. A peculiar twist in the day’s unfolding narrative. Some of me resisted; shame had fashioned its own armor around me. But choices, as they often do in such circumstances, remained elusive. We had a cursory dinner of fish and chips, procured with no conversation to accompany it.

We walked to the West Heidelberg Village Movie theaters. My mother was already there. In that moment, words fell short, barricaded by the day’s earlier exchanges. The film that played on the screen before us left no imprint on my memory, another…